


But if I kiss you will your mouth read this truth

by EponineTheStrange (gallifreyandglowclouds)



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-06
Updated: 2013-06-06
Packaged: 2017-12-14 04:10:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/832573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gallifreyandglowclouds/pseuds/EponineTheStrange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Matt and Karen start a relationship despite the talk that Matt had with Moffat</p>
            </blockquote>





	But if I kiss you will your mouth read this truth

Karen’s waiting for him outside of Steven’s office when he’s done talking to him. They’ve known each other for all of about five hours, just for the read-through of their first episode and their audition together (chemistry is the most important, apparently), and he’s decided that he likes her a lot. 

She waves to him a bit awkwardly, as if she’s nervous that he’s going to miss her, but she’s a difficult person to miss, all gangly limbs and ginger hair. 

“How was your talk with Steven?” She asks. 

“Not bad,” he replies, and then thinks that they should probably get to know each other a little bit better. “Want to go get coffee or something?” 

So they go to this little cafe not far from where they film the show, and it’s his first time there and hers too, because they’re both new to Cardiff and they find it a little confusing. 

She appreciates his comments about the Welsh language seeming to be made up of keyboard smashes, though, and wow, that’s a cute laugh. 

Karen starts talking as soon as her tea arrives, and Matt can’t tell if that’s how she always is or whether she’s just anxious. He nods at what he hopes are the appropriate points as she tells him all about her parents in Inverness, and how excited she is to be on the show, and her boyfriend Patrick, who is pretty awesome, though she’s sad that she won’t be seeing him quite as much now that he’s in London and she’s in Cardiff most of the time. 

“We do have breaks, though,” Matt says, “but not that many.” 

“Amen to that.” She shakes her head and takes another sip of her tea. “Fourteen hour days! I can’t believe it!” 

Not that he’s Google-stalked her (too much) but hasn’t done a ton of serious acting work before this. Then again, he hasn’t done that much either, not on this scale. 

Her phone buzzes on the table, and she checks it. She smiles, and then looks up at him apologetically. “Sorry, Patrick’s train just got in. He’s coming to visit before we really start filming in earnest. We should do this again some time!” 

“We should,” Matt says. 

He stands up as she does, and they hug briefly before walks out the door. He waves to her as she goes, and she waves back. 

* * *

The talk that Steven felt so compelled to have with Matt was about not dating Karen (or Arthur, Steven had added kind of offhandedly) because firstly, it would screw up the show, and secondly, the media pressure would be so insane that the relationship wouldn’t have much of a fighting chance anyways. The whole thing seemed rather odd to Matt, because he certainly likes Karen (and Arthur, though Matt’s not really in to guys) and wants to be friends with her but he doesn’t see her as someone he would date, necessarily. Plus, he’s got Daisy, who he calls when he gets back to his flat after the read-through. 

They talk. He gets takeaway, then goes to sleep. 

* * *

Karen’s trailer has the most comfortable couch in all of creation, so Matt spends a lot of time on it while they’re not filming, which is all fine and good except for when she starts trying to share it with him.

“It’s mine,” she says, “so if you’re going to hang out here, then we’re going to figure out how to cuddle platonically.” 

That experiment turns out to be a success, and then it gets extended to the impromptu movie nights they have at Karen’s flat on the weekends they’re in Cardiff. 

Arthur looks at the two of them like they’re stupid. 

“Plus,” he adds, “I feel like the third wheel here.” 

“That would be because you are,” Karen says, tossing a piece of popcorn at him. 

* * *

By the time series five formally premieres, Matt and Karen get on splendidly. They spend a lot of time at Karen’s place in Cardiff eating takeaway and watching TV. It’s their own little bubble, and though Daisy and Patrick are still very much in their lives, Matt and Karen don’t talk about them to each other. Cardiff is their little bubble away from real life, and Patrick and Daisy are firmly outside that bubble. 

The only time that Matt really hears about Patrick is when he’s in town visiting Karen, and that’s because they don’t hang out and he wanders around like a lost puppy because Daisy’s not around. 

At the series 5 premiere, he and Karen are taking photos on the red carpet and it seems totally natural and not at all romantic for him to put his arm around her waist. She doesn’t say anything. No one says anything. In fact, Karen looks up at him and smiles and laughs and just keeps on playing along for the photographers. 

The next morning, he’s got an e-mail from from Steven. It has a link in it to some pictures of him and Karen from the night before.

 _Remember our conversation, Matt,_ reads the rest of the e-mail. 

 _You have nothing to be worried about,_ Matt replies. 

* * *

He goes to Italy with Daisy for a couple of weeks during the summer, and Karen apparently hikes around the Isle of Skye with Patrick. They text a few times, but Matt reasons that they’re out of their little bubble now, and life is just getting in the way as life often does. 

But they’re back in July, which is amazing, and he’s overjoyed to see Karen and Arthur again and though he had a really good time in Italy with Daisy, he almost has more fun sitting on the floor of his flat eating pizza and playing Monopoly with those two. 

He and Karen start hanging out just the two of them more, mostly because Arthur’s girlfriend is also filming in Cardiff so they spend more time together. Matt notices at times that Karen is quieter, and more reserved than she ordinarily is, and he feels compelled to ask why. 

“Patrick stuff,” she says, and he feels compelled to just back the fuck up because they don’t seem to talk about relationships with each other. 

“Sorry,” he says, then pops a piece of paneer in his mouth. 

“He’s just,” she says, and pauses before she continues, “I feel like he’s pulling away, you know? And then I ask him if everything’s okay, and then he says that he’s fine, but there’s something not fine and I can’t put my finger on it. It’s really, really annoying me.” 

Matt nods sympathetically. 

“How’s Daisy?”

Matt shrugs. “Good, I guess. We had a good time in Italy.” He keeps eating. 

“There’s something you aren’t telling me,” Karen says. “I know these things. I know you.” 

Right, well, apparently she does. Matt sighs, and continues, “I guess that we’re both getting busier and busier, because her career is taking off which is awesome, and yet she wants to have more and more commitment, and I’m not really sure how that’s going to work when she needs to be in Paris or Milan or somewhere and I’m meant to be here all the time.” 

Karen nods. “Fair.” 

That conversation opens up a floodgate between the two of them, and Karen stuff starts to escape the bubble that they’ve created in Cardiff and they talk all the time. Karen gives him advice on Daisy, he gives her advice on Patrick, because for two people that routinely have to inhabit the psyches of characters, they are notoriously bad at interpersonal relationships with people.

People who are not each other, though, because sometimes it feels like he and Karen work as one person sometimes. 

* * *

The first time that Karen kisses him (and for real, not on camera), it’s in a hotel room in New York when they go for the season 6 premiere and it blindsides Matt like nothing else. 

She’s drunk. They’re both drunk. Blame the nice New York nightclubs for that. He walks her back up to her room, and the next thing he knows her lips are on his and  _oh, that’s nice._ The thing is though, his thought is something along the lines of  _holy shit why am I doing this I’m kissing back and she’s got a boyfriend and I’ve got a girlfriend and this shouldn’t be happening._

He pulls away from her, and she looks absolutely gutted, and his heart is rattling out a fast rhythm in his chest. 

“I’m going to go, Kaz,” he says, stammering a little. “Uh, text me when you wake up, okay?” 

And then he fucking bolts. 

He sits down on his bed with his head in his hands, trying to calm himself down. 

That night, he dreams about Karen’s lips on his, and he wakes up several times staring at the ceiling and breathing hard. 

When he wakes up, he has a text from Karen. 

_Sorry, I was in a weird place last night._

_No judgements here,_ Matt replies.  _Water under the bridge._

* * *

Except it’s not. Matt gets a bit obsessive about it, and suddenly he starts thinking about Karen in a distinctly not-friendly way. This is not helped by the fact that she’s going to be leaving the show soon. 

That revelation makes his head spin, but it also sort of makes him think about that conversation he had with Steven, and whether that prohibition continues even after Karen’s left the show. 

Of course, he’s still got Daisy, but here’s the thing about Daisy - the episodic nature of their relationship is partly to do with the fact that he never thought things were going to get serious between them, and he still has that in his head nearly two years later. That’s probably bad, and the honest truth is that he doesn’t want to get serious with her, but she doesn’t seem to think the same thing. 

That’s why they break up. Sure, publicists and agents will spin stories all about how work just got in the way, but the fact that Matt is a commitment-phobe at heart has more to do with it.  _  
_

He hears about Karen’s breakup with Patrick over the internet instead of through her, which is weird and stupid because hey, he thought they were friends but now they’re back to not talking when they aren’t filming, and if she wants to be weird about it, then she can be weird about it.

He does call her, though, because likes to think that he’s a good human being and all that. 

“Hey, Kazza,” he says when she picks up the phone. “How are you?” 

“Oh!” She sounds surprised to hear from him, and it’s not like they’re actually going to see each other for a few more weeks because that’s when filming for the first half of series 7 starts. “Hey, Matt. How was Christmas?” 

“Good, good,” he says. “Sorry to hear about Patrick.” 

There is a long silence on the other end of the line. 

“Thanks,” she says hesitantly. “Things were heading in that direction for a while, so I can’t say that I’m surprised. How are things with you and Daisy?” 

“Done,” Matt says. 

Another long, long pause. “Oh.” 

Well, she’s usually chattier than this. At what point did things get so weird between the two of them? 

“Well, I have to go,” Karen says. “I was just on my way to get some groceries. I’ll see you in Cardiff in a couple weeks, okay?” 

“Yeah, sure. I’ve missed you over Christmas,” he says. “Can’t wait to hear all about bonny Scotland!” 

She hangs up. 

Well. 

* * *

Things don’t get any less weird when filming starts back up again, and Matt does not think that it has anything to do with Arthur’s and Karen’s leaving, because that literally would make no sense. They’ve had the better part of the last year to deal with that.

It’s not all on her, and thought Matt would like to pretend that sometimes, he realises that he’s sort of feeling just as new and excited about things with Karen, because all of a sudden she’s gone from this leggy ginger that he enjoys being friends with to a leggy ginger he’d kind of like to snog and take out for fancy dinners and stuff like that. (Steven knew this was going to happen. He knew it. Now Matt understands why the conversation that they had before filming started was necessary. 

Doesn’t mean he’s going to abide by that rule if he doesn’t have to, though.) It does mean that he feels like the dynamic between him and Karen has changed in a more pronounced way, though. Where there was a lot of flirty banter before (with the implicit knowledge, of course that said flirty banter didn’t mean anything) now there’s just tense silence, and a sudden kind of heat, and it’s weirding Matt out. He’s sort of forgotten how it feels to fall in love with someone, especially someone that you were friends with for so long that the romantic feelings start coming and it’s just like  _oh._

Karen’s being distant and kind of avoiding Matt, so he basically decides  to resort to entrapment to try and figure out what the hell is going on. He shows up at her flat with Indian food, and he’s really really hoping that she lets him in because he will eat all of it by himself if she doesn’t, and that would be very bad indeed. 

He smiles when she opens the door, and holds up a bag of remarkably greasy naan bread. “I brought food!” 

“Oh,” Karen says, sounding remarkably nonplussed. “That’s good, I was going to cook myself something but thanks for that, Matt.” She shows him inside. 

It’s all silent as she takes the food from him, and grabs some plates and cutlery and puts it all on her dining room table. He takes off his jacket and then sits down. 

“So,” he says, as she sits across from him, “how was your holiday?” 

“Good,” she says, serving herself some lamb curry. “Nice to see everyone at home.” 

“Yeah,” Matt says, “it was good to be back.” 

They eat in silence for a little while. 

“Do you mind if I ask what happened with Patrick?” Matt asks, a bit hesitant. “I feel like we haven’t been actually talking for a long time.” 

Karen shrugs, but keeps her eyes on her curry. “It actually happened in like, October. You know how private we are. I just let it slip in a radio interview and then all the papers got a hold of it.” 

Wow, that’s a surprise. 

“I think,” she continues, “that things weren’t progressing, you know? We’ve been together six years and we still live apart, and I think that neither of us really wanted to commit to each other. We were just afraid to say it, I suppose.” 

“Too bad,” Matt says. 

“I see that you and Daisy also suffered a split,” Karen says. 

Matt nods. “It happens.” 

“Well, you two seem to be the reigning monarchs of the on and off relationship,” she says, and there’s a wee bit of venom in her voice that he doesn’t quite understand. “I’m sure you two will figure things out.” 

“I think it’s permanently off this time,” Matt says, and oh look, now they’re done their dinner and he needs to do something to make her happy because he’s stupid and that’s what he does. “Do you want to watch a movie or something?” 

She cracks a smile at that, and that’s nice because it’s the happiest he’s seen her for quite a while. 

“I could use a good Smith and Gillan snuggle,” she says. “I’ve missed it.”

“You know,” he says, settling himself down on her couch, “Northampton and Inverness aren’t that far apart. You could have hit me up for cuddles at any time.” 

“I should have thought of that,” she says, and she snuggles up beside him, and she sighs. “We don’t have much more time for this, eh?”

He nods, but he’s sort of distracted by the warmth of her body pressing against his, and his heart starts beating so fast he’s pretty sure it’s just going to stop altogether, and he sort of tangles his fingers in her hair as the opening credits of  _Tangled_ start to roll. Her head is on his chest, so she strongly suspects she can hear his heart racing.

She looks up at him and asks, “Matt, are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” he says, even though that’s probably a massive lie. 

She turns and looks up at him, and he can’t read the expression on her face but there’s a bit of overwhelmed and and confused but also happy, and he sort of gets the feeling that she knows how he feels and he doesn’t know whether that’s good or whether that really freaks him out. 

She turns so that instead of lying beside him, she’s more on top of him, and they share one more look that practically makes the air between them sizzle and then she’s kissing him. 

Her hands link behind his neck, and his slide down her body and come to rest on her lower back, and he can’t fucking get over how good she tastes and how spine-tinglingly awesome it feels when she runs her tongue across the roof of his mouth, and how when his hips instinctively buck in to hers and he swallows her moan. 

They pull apart and just sort of awkwardly stare at each other for a few seconds, because she’s got this sort of perplexed but also exhilarated look on her face that Matt’s pretty sure is mirrored in his. 

“Did we just -” He starts. 

She nods. “Are you drunk right now?” 

“Nope.” 

“Okay,” she says. “I don’t know about you, but I really enjoyed that.” 

“Me too, Kazza.” 

She kisses him again in response to that. 

They stay up late that night and eat biscuits and talk, because clearly they’ve both got a lot of figuring out to do, because they’re both jumpy and a little weird when it comes to relationships. So they agree that they’re going to take things slow, and not have anything be too serious. 

* * *

This lasts for about a month until Karen kisses Andrew once while they’re in Almeria, and Matt gets jealous and she feels guilty, and then they decide to actually do things properly and be girlfriend and boyfriend because who are they playing at, that’s what they want to do. He helps her scroll through flats and things in Los Angeles, and she starts collecting little things from all of their time together to tide him over while she’s in Los Angeles. 

They get papped kissing in New York while TATM is filming, and Matt gets another e-mail from Steven. 

It reads: 

_You’re still breaking the rules, Matt. We’ve got one more episode to film._

He finds he just doesn’t care any more. 

Later, when Karen Googles them when they’re a little bit drunk, she reads one article where Matt mentions that Steven had told him not to date her. 

“And you still did it?” She says, looking at him incredulously. 

“Some things are worth breaking the rules for, Kaz.” 


End file.
